Making My Own Destiny
by StoryDiva
Summary: Set after Chris' identity has been revealed. Chris struggles to keep his distance, but a new girl makes that impossible and he finds himself revealing things to her. WIP Incomplete at the moment.
1. The Reveal

**Title:** Making My Own Destiny

**Author:** tommygirl828 (at) gmail (dot) com

**Crossposted:** my livejournal and my website (at some point)

**A/N:** This started out as a ficlet, but now has grown into an ongoing story. Much love to Jen for the continuously awesome beta work. And love to everyone who reads and reviews my stories - thank you so much and I'm glad you enjoy it. I apologize for not writing as much Charmed lately, but those Supernatural Winchester brothers have stolen my brain! Feedback always appreciated!

* * *

**_Part One - The Reveal_**

"Um, I'm a witch," Chris stated. He tried to give his voice an air of authority and calm, but he was feeling anything but. He knew he shouldn't be saying these words, sharing this information with her. He could list about twenty reasons off the top of his head—he wasn't staying here, he still cared about Bianca, he had a job to do, _this wasn't his home_—but none of those mattered when he blurted out the words.

For her own part, she took the information rather well. She smiled tentatively, nodding her head and glancing around the room as though she expected to find out she was _Punk'd_. No one else was there and the look on Chris' face made her legs nearly give out.

He stumbled for words now, "I wasn't planning to say that, but, well, it's out there now and it's the truth."

She crossed her arms and said, "What were you planning to say?"

"What?"

"You said you weren't planning to say that. Were you planning to lie to me?"

Uh-oh. He had been raised around enough women to know this was not a good thing. The look on her face was one of fury and her stance was that of someone about to attack. Why, oh, why did Wyatt have to be born with all the powers, including the ability to speak to women? Chris gulped and said, "Lila, it's not—"

She shook her head and said, "I helped your friends. I saved your life and nearly got arrested for it—"

"I can try to explain this if..."

"Chris, I don't know that I want to hear this. How can I trust that you'll tell me the truth? Since it appears to be a touch-and-go sort of thing for you."

His hand twisted into a fist and he sighed slowly before responding, "There are certain things I've grown up acutely aware of, Lila. Things that most people don't understand. I don't choose to lie...it's more an omission of the facts."

"Still a lie."

"We're practically strangers, Lila. There are people who've known me for years who will never find out my true identity," he offered, hoping it would appease her.

It didn't. "_It's...still...a...lie_," she responded slowly, as though she had to enunciate every syllable because he was too thick to understand otherwise.

"It must be nice to live in a world so black and white," Chris snapped. He glared at her, angrier with himself for revealing so much, than he was with her. What had he expected to happen? He had grown up around Wyatt. He knew how people feared witchcraft and all that it implied. He saw the way people reacted when his family revealed their true identities—rarely going well for anyone involved.

Why would he think Lila would be any different? And why was her reaction bothering him so much? She was nearly a stranger to him, someone he had known for a few weeks and who had helped him out of a bind. It wasn't like he owed her his soul or anything. It wasn't like he would be sticking around long enough to see that look of revulsion on her face.

"That's not—" she paused and laughed mirthlessly.

"What?"

"You think this is about the fact that you said you're a witch, but it's not. You're so stupid."

"Come again?"

"Leave it to me to get tangled up in...you're an idiot. I couldn't care less that you're a witch - you could be an elf for all I care."

"An elf? Have you been watching _Lord of the Rings_ again?"

"_My point_ is that I'm pissed at you, but you're apparently clueless as to why. Tells me a whole lot."

"It doesn't tell you anything! This isn't the type of thing you share with just anyone, let alone some strange neighbor that you've known for a couple of weeks."

If the words stung, Lila didn't let it show. It almost made Chris hug her to him, the strong air she had about her. It reminded him so much of his mother and aunts growing up. Maybe that was why he always ended up entangled with strong women. Not that he was entangled. He was completely _un_tangled. He didn't care what Lila did or how she felt or how freaking strong she turned out to be. He didn't have time for that.

Her voice was quieter when she spoke again. "You could've trusted me, Chris. I thought you'd realize that given the way I protected you before."

"It's not the same thing."

"Right. Because you can't allow anyone to get too close or it will ruin that protective armor you've got going for you. Can't allow yourself to care for anyone. Might kill you."

He mimicked her stance and replied, "You're right. It might."

She rolled her eyes at him, hardly the response he was expecting, and then her face contorted into one of wonder and worry. She asked, "Who hurt you so badly?"

He shrugged. He had already revealed too much. He wasn't about to travel down memory lane with her and he refused to care how that made her feel. She wasn't his problem. She wasn't the reason he had come back here. He stiffened up and said, "I'm not an open book, Lila, and I never will be."

"What does that mean?"

"It means I don't answer to anyone and I learned a long time ago that the only person I can count on his me. Understand?" He noticed her trying to cover the hurt and he added, "Now get out of here."

And she did. Rushed out the front door, slamming it shut behind her. Chris saw his mother come down the stairs, holding Wyatt, and she glanced at him curiously. He shrugged and orbed out before he could be asked any more questions. He was really sick of stupid questions.


	2. Didn't Know I Was Lost

**_Part Two - Didn't Know I Was Lost 'Til You Found Me_**

Chris sat down at the table and forced himself to get a grip. He took a few deep breathes, trying to calm his nerves, and kept himself from orbing out of the restaurant before she appeared. After all, lunch was his idea. Okay, more like Phoebe's not-so-subtle suggestions to make up with Lila. Chris wanted to fix things with her, to make her understand that no matter how trustworthy someone might seem it was a danger to out himself as a witch. He needed to make her comprehend that.

That scared him more than anything. He was getting too attached to things in this life – his mother, his aunts, a version of Wyatt that didn't try to kill him (unless deadly diapers counted – and he tended to avoid such things because...ew), and a neighbor like Lila. He had made a life for himself in his own past and that wasn't good. It would have to end. He had to go back to the future after everything was fixed, and hopefully before his mother popped mini-Chris out.

"Oh, if the look on your face is a sign of where this lunch is heading, I'm not sure I want to stick around."

Chris looked up and Lila's body was blurred by the bright sun. Chris squinted, a small smile forming at the corners of his lips, and motioned to the empty seat across from him. He said, "I'm glad you came, Lila."

She glanced from him to the chair before taking a seat. She put her purse on the table and started to tap her fingers. When she caught Chris watching her fingers, she moved them to her long blonde hair. She pushed the hair away from her face, twirling her fingers through the strands. She offered him a weak smile and said, "I wasn't sure I was going to show up, but I have some questions."

"I'm not sure I can answer them."

"Chris…"

"This lunch wasn't about..." Chris paused, searching for the right words to keep her from bolting. God, he hated the idea of her walking out of his life like that. And he hated those feelings more than anything. A part of him felt like he betrayed Bianca's memory every time he thought about Lila, another part simply knew how complicated this would make things (technically, Lila was way older than he was), and another part realized that he would be putting her in more and more danger with every nugget of information he revealed. Chris couldn't do that – he had enough blood on his hands.

Chris sighed after a few seconds, words still failing him. He forced himself to meet her gaze, and it surprised him to see that she was calm. Her blue eyes weren't full of the rage they were the last time they had been together and her posture was one of neither fear nor anger, but rather expectance.

"Chris, you can talk to me. I'm not going to run away or cry out for help or write you off as some lunatic," she replied. She leaned forward in her chair and added, "I've seen a lot of unexplainable things as I've gotten older. A lot of it scared the hell out of me. It's actually nice to know that there are people out there, like you and your friends, that save the day."

"I wish it were that simple."

"It _is_ that simple, but you're too stubborn to admit it."

"I shouldn't be doing this," Chris said. He shook his head, as though his brain was water logged, and muttered, "This was a mistake."

"Oh?"

"Yes...no...I didn't want you to hate me. That's why I asked you to meet me. And that was wrong. I should've let you hate me."

"Huh?"

"Because you'd be safe and I wouldn't have to worry about another complication—"

Lila snapped her head up and folded her arms. She said, "Like the complications you caused my life when I saved your ass? I lied to the FBI to help you. And why did I do that? Because you widened those pretty green eyes and promised that you were the good guy and that everything would be taken care of. And for some reason, I trusted you, Chris. I'm still not sure why I did that."

"I'm not sure why I've done a lot of things since I've gotten here," Chris said. He swallowed down a large gulp of water and said, "I came to town with one purpose – to keep the Halliwells safe and to stop some evil force from turning baby Wyatt evil."

"What?"

"You wanted information," Chris snapped. He took a deep breath and rushed out, "Sorry, I'm just—I'm trying to make you understand why…how bad...ugh...I really suck at this." Chris frowned when Lila started to chuckle, her whole body shaking as she did so. He pouted, "This isn't funny, Lila."

"You're right, but your face was…" her voice trailed off as her laughter grew louder, garnering the attention of the other customers.

He wanted to throttle her. She didn't seem to understand the meaning of inconspicuous. In fact, he would've throttled her had his own body not betrayed him with a fit of laughter. The two of them made some pair in that moment, laughing like hyenas for no real reason except to release tension.

After the giggles subsided, Lila managed, "I'm sorry. You were trying to explain something to me."

"Badly."

"Yes, but go on."

"I'm not from around here, Lila. I came here for a specific purpose and once I've accomplished what I came here to do, I'm leaving."

"So don't leave."

Chris frowned. "I wish that was possible. Sometimes I think about it…how bad could it be if I stuck around? But I don't belong here. This isn't my home."  
"I'm not trying to get you to stay for me, Chris."

Chris pretended that remark didn't cut through him. He reminded himself that he didn't care about her like that, that he couldn't allow the fact that she had a killer smile and the perfect laugh to mess him up. He replied, "I know that. It's not...things are so different here from where I come from. And to have…it's going to be hard enough to leave, Lila, and I don't want to have to worry about you."

"I can take care of myself."

"Not against demons you can't. And they're as protective of the secrets of magic as any witch. If they found out that you knew about them, they would eliminate you. As it is, I've had to make Piper and my aunts…" Chris groaned the moment the words were out of his mouth. If he didn't know better he would think that Lila had put some spell on him, one where he couldn't stop from telling her the truth. Unfortunately, this was all him and his stupid mouth.

"Aunts?" Lila repeated. She stared at him for a few seconds before asking, "Who are we talking about now?"

"Can we forget I said anything?"

"No."

"It's complicated."

Lila dropped her napkin on the table and said, "That's your lame answer for everything."

Chris glared at her. "It's not lame, it's the truth."

"Doesn't make it any less lame."

"I can't believe that I let Phoebe convince me it might've been fate that we met that day and you agreed to cover for us. I don't believe in fate, but I allowed her to fill my brain with all this...crap," Chris replied. He slammed his hand down on the table and leaned forward. He said, "Lame or not, anything I tell you could have dire consequences."

"So why am I here?"

"I told you."

"You told me part of it."

"Lila, I wish I could tell you everything. I wish I could be the type of guy who shared his every thought and—it's not me. I'm a loner. It has to be that way."

"Because it's complicated?"

"Right."

"And you're lame?"

Chris rolled his eyes. "It's like talking to a brick wall."

"Hey pot, you're black."

Lila mimicked his position, leaning forward until their foreheads were almost touching. The smell of perfume coming off her skin nearly undid him. His hands got sweaty and his legs slumped against the chair. Chris wasn't sure what was going on – was this some cosmic joke – but he had to get away before he couldn't stop himself from a horrible mistake.

And doing anything with Lila would be a horrible mistake.

"Lunch was a bad idea," Chris said. He went into his pocket and pulled out a twenty. Though they hadn't ordered, he dropped it on the table, before standing up and shrugging into his jacket. He forced his gaze on the sun rays pouring down on the street in front of him. He added, in nothing more than a sigh, "I'm sorry, Lila."

Lila reached out and grabbed onto his hand. She looked up at him expectantly and replied, "Chris, please talk to me. I care about you. You're my friend, and this secret of yours, I don't care."

Chris chuckled, but unlike earlier there was no amusement in his voice. He gritted his teeth and said, "I care about you too. That's the problem." He allowed his hand to move to her cheek and linger there for a second. He shook his head and said, "I've gotta go."

He didn't give her a chance to say anything. He rushed out of the restaurant and around the corner. He found an empty alley and orbed back to the manor before she could catch up with him. Chris couldn't let the floral scent of her skin or her smile or her infuriating personality interfere with his duty to his family. No matter how much a part of him longed to.


End file.
